The 3 Elements: Love, Limits, & Latitude

Every child deserves to be loved. Every child deserves to have limits. What is latitude? Latitude in parenting means to give children autonomy, or giving them choices to make their own decisions in various areas. First let's talk about what every child needs:

*Love, warmth, and support
*Clear and reasonable expectations for competent behavior
*Limits and boundaries with some room for negotiation and compromise
*Reasoning and developmentally appropriate consequences and punishments for breaching established limits
*Opportunities to perform competently and make choices
*Absence of coercive, hostile forms of discipline such as harsh physical punishment, love withdrawal, shaming, and inflicting gilt
*Models of appropriate behavior consistent with self-control, positive values, and positive attitudes

I know that when I have my own children I will love them with all of my heart. I will want to smother them with kisses and tell them how much I love them. I know it will be hard to let them make their own choices, especially when I know the consequences of those choices, but I will do this for them because they need autonomy. I am so excited to be a parent one day. The more I study about love, limits, and latitude, the more I know I will want to give that to each of my children.

The three characters of Authoritative Parenting are Love, Limits, and Latitude. President Gordon B. Hinckley said, "Every child is entitled to grow up in a home where there is warm and secure companionship, where there is love in the family relationship, where appreciation one for another is taught and exemplified, and where God is acknowledged and His peace and blessings invoked before the family altar." 

Love: connection

Limits: regulation

Latitude: autonomy

Another thought on establishing limits--Remember:
-All children need rules and limits
-Be firm, but be fair
-It is important to monitor your children: Where is my child? Who is my child with? What is my child doing?
-Discuss the rules with your child and make rules with your child
-Relax the limits as your child matures (appropriate of age)

Source: Steinberg, L. D. (2004). Establish Rules and Set Limits. The ten basic principles of good parenting (87). New York: Simon & Schuster.

Elder M. Russell Ballard said:
"Helping children learn how to make decisions requires that parents give them a measure of autonomy, dependent on the age and maturity of the child and the situation at hand. Parents need to give children choices and should be prepare to appropriately adjust some rules, thus preparing children for real-world situations." 

Source: Hawkins, A. J. (20122012). Parenting with Love, Limits, and Latitude. Successful marriages and families: proclamation principles and research perspectives (105-112). Provo, Utah: BYU Studies and School of Family Life, Brigham Young University.

In what ways do you show love to your children?